I'm IN

I am now the official research fellow for Minnesota 2020!

Which means I can stop stressing and start unpacking!

I am SO excited!

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Elizabeth on KKFI, the sequel!!

Hey kids...

Been wondering where I've been all your lives?

Or, at least for the last 2 months?

Join me at 1:30 pm TOMORROW on KKFI.

That's 90.1 to you on the dial. 

We've got stories, we've got questions to answer...

And you all HAVE to meet Summer Terhune. 

See you all there!

Almost done!

I am trapped in a box, about to be up and out of here! For those of you who don't know what's going on, I am relocating, and currently live in a house without internet access. It's practically the dark ages! And to save my thumbs, I have tried to not do THIS too much.

But as of this weekend, that's all over.

Minneapolis.

Internet access.

The whole kaboodle!

But WINK lives on. Starting next week, the store is open with regular hours, smart staff, and prodigious product!

WINK found some fairy godparents, and I still get to be the sexologist! I will be back every 8 weeks for workshops, to host parties, and be around.

I will also be on KKFI on occasion

Like this Saturday @ 130 PM. 90.1 baby...

SO, it's all happening.

It's all good.

And no one can live without the internet anymore for more thana week!

See you all on the other side!
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I'm ALIVE!

And too busy to think straight!

Or bi.

Kids, don't get a Phd. Ever. It's the level of hell Dante forgot to warn us about.

I'm backlogged about a million questions, so a lovely friend of mine got me a video camera that downloads right to the blog.

Interactive AND informative! As soon as I can start thinking for myself and stop citing sources for material, i'm on it.

And by it I mean this blog.

Apologies all around.
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All good hospital vacations must come to an end!

remember kids,

Colds are sometimes colds.

Colds are sometimes flus.

Flu's may end you up in the hospital on fluids if you're not careful. 

Don't ever underestimate the power of a common cold. 

Back to work tomorrow afternoon! 

Spring break be gone!

That's right folks!

Shawnee Mission Schools Spring Break is over, which means my family hat comes off, and back to the sex salt mines i go! Which means

• Back to that daily blogging
• New store hours (call before you come, so we can help you come!)
• My schoolwork resumes (Yeeeeehaw!)
• And I finally can get to that backlog of questions that has been piling up in my account!!!

SO, I will see everyone here, for the daily fun starting....

wait for it....

NOW!

Thanks for ALL the support. I am overwhelmed at how warmly and widely received I have been throughout the metro.

You all rock!

Elizabeth on Mark Manning's Mid-day Medley TODAY!!

10:30 am

Fertility Rites and Spring!

Eliot Spitzer and paying for it!

All this and much much more on 90.1, KKFI TODAY at 10:30!

What do YOU want to do to the Irish??

Q: In honor of St. Patrick's day... What's the origin of the whole "Kiss me I'm Irish" thing?

A: It's a pretty simple answer, really.

This is the Blarney Stone:

If you kiss it, it's supposed to bring you luck. And if you can't get to the blarney stone, an Irish person is supposedly the next best thing

this is a (my imaginary) person that works at Blarney castle:

Supposedly, they pee on the stone before the tourists arrive as a joke.

this is urolagnia:

It's when people like to pee, or be peed on, or consume pee for non-medical reasons. And yes, there are people who like to drink pee for theraputic purposes.

Now, of course how you celebrate today is up to YOU, but always remember sometimes an Irish person is just an Irish person. And sometimes a stone covered in pee is a fetishists dream come true.

HAPPY St. PATRICK'S DAY!!!

Questions, questions...YOU have the questions!!!

Wow. In the past 24 hours I have recieved dozens of questions. And I will get to work on them this afternoon.

Don't worry, answers are a-comin'!

Welcome, Kansas City Star Readers!!!

Hello one and all!

Welcome to my weblog.

in the upper left-hand corner, you'll notice a place where you can ask many a question anonymously.

And here is where I will answer them publicly.

Don't worry, you're safe here.

It's what I do.

And if you want more, I'll be on KKFI 90.1 this Wednesday at 10:30 with Mark Manning to discuss sex and spring. You can find my whole schedule on the Wink calendar.

Never be afraid to ask.

Can I get a merit badge in Dildo creation??

Q: So elizabeth, just what CAN you make dildos out of???

A. Oh, christ. this is gonna be a long'un. In the interest of time (and in honor of Dr. Seuss' b-day) we will make this list as a rhyme.

Strap in kids:

Dildo, Dildo can I make?
Out of clay I want to bake?
Can I make my next toy?
For myself, my girl or boy?

Dildo dildo can I make? Can I make it out of cake?
No, no cake! Cake is wrong,
And would have you singing a sad, sad song!
Cake has sugar and lots of bread
And a yeast infection is on the road ahead!

In fact…

food is tasty food is good
But a dildo NEVER should
Include snacks for dinner, snacks for lunch…
Just about anything you might munch!

But homemade dildos can be fun,
Not just for you, but everyone!
Dildos made of smooth, smooth stone,
Will make you happy
(maybe moan)

dildos can be made of wood,
beware of splinters!
That ain’t good!
But as long as wood is sealed,
That smooth surface might make you reel!

Dildos can be made of warm and fuzzy things
Just be careful of loose strings
and tie up any loose ends
losing stuff in an orifice is not your friend.

So have some fun! Be creative!
Just try to follow this advice
Be prudent, bacteria free
And imagine what feels nice!

Ever get a giggle fit?

This was my latest.

Text: Irish you happy holidays

Guess you had to be there.

I am still out here and researching my buns off! My next question was a doozy about harnesses!

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I swear Mom! I was just reading the paper!!

So, it turns out my mom reads this blog.

Everyone say hi!

Oh, and she also got me a subscription to the Sunday New York Times. I have a minor addiction to 6.50 papers where the crossword takes me a week to figure out. I suppose it's better than crack...

And here I was, just reading through the New York Times Magazine from a few weeks ago(I'm a little behind), and what do I see????
An article on poly-lifestyles

Ok, not a whole article, but there it was, in the freaking New York Times Sunday Magazine, the one with little kids jumping up and down on the cover.

A little tidbit about the current president of France, Nicolas Sarkozy,




his super-hot wife Carla Bruni,




and her little comment about monagamy, polyandry, poligamy, and polygny. They forgot polyamory, but we'll forgive them.

Let's define some terms...




Monagamy= 1 person committed to another person, regardless of gender




Polygamy= A man OR woman who marries more than one man or woman (depending on the country...)











Polyandry= the one up above
(One woman, many men)





Polygyny= the one over there (one man,
many women)




Polyamory=Means many loves. You love more than one person, or your group consists of many people in love.

And all this can be learned in the NYT on a Sunday between 29 across and 3 down!

Explain to me this.....

Bad grammer is my speciality....

Why are ALL books in the sex area got pink? Last time *I* checked, my clit wasn't magenta....

Just sayin.....
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SEE??!! It's NOT the length that counts!!

Short Sex is best, researchers say...

in Australia.

Read all about it here!

At the store with no internet access!!

ARGH! Back to remote blogging for today. I am gonna keep this short and sweet for now, and when I get to a place with internet access, I will hotlink these words.

This weekend will be a little insane, plus I'm researching the MOST interesting question for later this weekend. So until I can get away and back to the land of the connected, here's what I've got:



KC magazine is having their big "best of" nominations, and WINK's decided to run in the best boutique category! I think it would make quite the statement to even get the nomination, and show Kansas City for the awesomely sex-positive place it is!



WINK gets nothing except a plaque on the wall, and our undying appreciation!



You can vote HERE.

2. I've confirmed 4 more dates on Mark Manning's amazing radio show! (I will hotlink when I get home) Make sure to listen for the following shows,

March 19-spring is in the air! Sex and spring(you can call in!)



April 2-songs that changed my life. A collaborative project, and I am one of many who will contribut MY song and the story behind it.



April 5- KKFI funddrive! I'll be on there talking about money, sex and power!



AND



Drumroll please....



May 3-WINK and Mark Manning Present:The Tenth Voice- Not Afraid to Ask, the radio show! So save you're hardest questions to call in may 3rd!



So, I hope you all are out enjoying the weather, and if not, drop on by and see Katie and me @ Wink today till 9!





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A vibrating cock-a-doodle DON'T!

You know them. i know you love them, because I can't keep them in stock. Our friend the vibrating cock ring is a big hit in the KC Metro Area.

Now, you can go to any drugstore and grab a vibrating cock ring. Trojan makes the Elexa, a very discreet ring that hangs with the condoms.

Doesn't make a whole crap ton of sense that I would tell you that, right?

Well, There's a lovely little article as to why the Trojan Elexa isn't worth the 12.00 price tag it's attached to, and why the Magic Ring (above) IS.

Trojan and their 20 minute sex window? Not thinking much about their clientele's, ahem, longevity in the bedroom.

But don't take my word for it. See whta the writer from the NY Observer has to say...

Hotlinking just ain't what it used to be...

**********If Brevity is the source of Wit, Humility is the source of Blogs...*******************

So,

Post posting the poly-happy post below, I recieved a comment from a really lovely fellow informing me that I am "hotlinking" to his website with my images.

Hotlinking, aka, using up his bandwidth.

Bandwidth, aks, the stuff that makes everything run smoothly.

Now, as a sexologist, I may be able to decipher hotlinking, but I think i'd be wrong.

So I called the fellow who posted the comment and prostrated myself.

In exchange for having a total stranger call him out of the blue (proving once again that the internet haas entirely too much information available) he told me how to not hotlink anymore.

Thank you fellows at Portigal Consulting.

I hope you don't mind that I linked now.

And Steve, I owe you a cup of coffee when I get back to SF in June.

Roo-rific!!!

Thank you SO much residents of Oak Hall at UMKC!!!! Sex night at the Residential Hall was WAY TOO MUCH FUN!!!

I went over to UMKC to talk about sex toys and sexual pleasure as part of the monthly Sex Talk series! And boy, that room was packed! We had a blast. First, the resident health educator talked about the services available at UMKC, and then they turned the floor over to me.



I was still attaching these to a table:





But then it was my turn to talk. And boy, those UMKC students kept me on my toes! We talked about vibrators, sex, anal play, lube, polyamory, kegel exercises, monagamy, BDSM, and just about everything under the sun!

And then they gave me a sweatshirt!

I'm gonna wear it all week at the store. I am that proud of being a Roo!

Monaga-maybe???

Q: I'm a woman in my early twenties, and have had two serious, long term relationships (don't worry, this is actually a sex question). About a year into each of these relationships, I found my sex drive drastically declining (no, neither time did I go on or off any medication). Sex morphed into an obligation, rather than a loving or fun act. I also found myself, both times, itching for sex outside of the relationship, though I never pursued it. Is this a common occurrence in women, or am I such a closeted swinger that I didn't even know it myself?

A: Ah, sex and relationships. the bread and butter of the Sexology industry. Don't worry, ma'am, I'm here to help on both fronts.

Sex in relationships is a lot like sex outside of relationships. It's really hot for a while, you can't get enough of the other person, and then WHAM you see her pick her nose, or you see the skid marks on his shorts, and the veneer is...less shiny.

What you are experiences is the very normal experience of seeing the skid marks. the drive declines when we start tp see the other person as an, um, PERSON, instead of the oh-my-god!-he's-amazing-and-sooooo-funny-and-what-an-amazing-lay-and-I-can't-wait-to-have-his-babies-! - person.

Not to say that you're doing that, but the very natural drop off in chemicals that you are experiencing can happen anywhere from 6 months to 18 months. Then things will hit a groove, and the person starts to look attractive again for a couple of years, and then around the 3-5 year mark, BAM, there it goes again.

Human sex drive is a pesky thing. It comes and goes for no reason. And if we have other issues that have plagued us (not that you said you did) such as intimacy, trust, or baggage from previous relationships, it can seen like it never ends.

What;s AWESOME about your e-mail is that you see a pattern. Seeing a pattern means you can break a pattern. You can anticipate a pattern. You know that (like many humans) you have a point where the sex drive becomes more of a sex neutral. And that at that point, a new car looks interesting. You also know that chemical rush you get at the beginning does go in ANY relationship. And it would with any car you got behind the wheel of.

HOWEVER, you may also be a lovely breed of human known as non-monogamous. Lots of different labels that essentially mean is that whole you don't fit into the classic monogamous mold that has been shoved down our throats our entire lives. And there are a TON of people that fall into those categories as well. Look up being in the lifestyle for more information.

All in all, don't worry about these issues. the ebb and flow of desire is normal. It's a regular thing even for die-hard monogamists. Which you might not be.

My song of choice tonight?

Girl, don't go away mad-Motley Crue of course!
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Raccoons live in the sewer!

So, I'm driving home from dinner with loved ones, and got really caught up in a song. You know, whens song is just SO appropriate that you pass your house and keep driving to sing and look like an ass in your car a little longer?

Yeah, I did that.

And I'm gonna continue after I send this.

ANYWAYS, I was driving, singing along, and what do I see? A tiny fuzzy raccoon head popping out of a sewer grate!

It has nothing to do with sex, but it was so odd to me I had to take a picture and share it with the world.

Tiny glowing spot in the sewer=my fuzzy friend.

Have a lovely Friday everyone! I am @ the store from 12-9 tomorrow. Stop by and say hi!
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In which I learn to use my computer...

So, I have finally loaded my radio interview on my website. You can listen to it here!

Oh, and they invited me back on for March, and you can all call in with questions or criticisms. I promise not to bite.

Yeah, that joke's too easy. I'm leaving it alone. ALONE, I say!

Full moon fever???

Ok, I had this great idea about how I would do an article about all the lunar eclipse/sex stuff out there. How the eclipse make people RAAAAAAAAAANDY, baby! How they're doin' it left and right, up and down.

What did I find?

That I was thinking about the full moon, not a lunar eclipse...

Duh, Elizabeth, duh.

Turns out, that MOST cultures view the lunar eclipse as a bad, BAD omen.

Bad nooky mojo.

In India, couples won't touch each other during an eclipse. It's considered such bad luck that they stay in seperate rooms.

Now, if they'd just jump a qick flight and head to Tahiti, they could get it on.

In Tahitian culture, an lunar eclipse is considered sun/moon nooky, and therefore good luck.

And that's all I've got on the subject.

WAIT

There's a little more.

Not in the mood tonight? Repeat after me.

"Not tonight, honey. I have a lunar eclipse"

Use it now, kids. You can't use that again till 2010...

I AM NOT A CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST

Hello all. 

I had another article ready to run, all happy and fluffy about a lovely topic, but for the next 48 hours, I need to run the following piece:

I AM NOT A CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST

I AM NOT A CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST

I AM NOT A CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST

I AM NOT A CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST

In an article in today's KC Star, the reporter has me quoted as saying I'm a clinical psychologist, which I NEVER did, have, or will. 

I am a clinical SEXOLOGIST

I have said it a million times. 

It's all over my website.

It's in every article I've ever written or written about me.

And the KC Star will be printing something to that effect ASAP, I'm sure of it. 

I want to take this opportunity to apologize to the APA, and AASECT for the KC Star's oversight. I never claim to be what I'm not. 

We won an awaaaaaaaard! We won an awaaaaaaard!!

Actually, 15 awards. 

WINK's ad campaign was clever enough to be considered pretty tasty. Like, best in show tasty. You can read about it here. And in tomorrow's KC Star. 

I would like to thank my entire 2007 team, but I don't remember everyone's name, so I'll do what I can...

THANK YOU:

Sam

Claire

Courtney

Allison

Rhonda

Ky

Ron

Ron's entire team

All the models for the shoots

Kristian

The WINK staff

Let's see what happens in 2008!

Not walkin' in a Winter Wonderland...

So, here I am in the land of the always snowing...Minneapolis. Now being a cold weather person, i happen to love it. But today it is literally too cold to play outside, which is all we did yesterday. Now I'm just a visitor to the frozen tundra, but I wonder what the regulars do when it's too cold to go outside.

I had a theory...

Being the sexologist that I am, my mind wandered to sex. Ok, there was no wandering involved. It's just there permanently. Let's look inside the mind of a sexologist...

***Cobweb Clearing***

"Geez, it's cold outside! There's not a single person on the street!"

Stops to pet dog

"this really sux! I wanted to go tubing and skiing today!!!"

Stops to have heated discussion about what constitutes "too cold" to go sledding and skiing.

"Fine fine FINE! I'll just stay inside like the rest of Minneapolis."

big sigh

"I wonder what people DO do in Minneapolis if it's too cold to be outside. Are they all home having sex? Watching TV? Watching TV about people having sex? Hmmmmmmmmm."

Hops on the World Wide Web.

And this is what I found out. After rigorous (re: 10 websites) research (re:people's opinions), here's my conclusions. According to my sources, people THINK more sex is happening in the winter, based on their friends b-days. they just count backwards. Oh, and 1,000 women in England think about sex more in the winter than the summer. Oh, and the Pocket Mouse population of Arizona seems to get mad nookie in Winter and Spring. 

Hard evidence? HELL no! Room for discussion? Always. 

Do YOU have more sex in the winter? If not, what do you do with your snow days?  

Spiderman is a chronic masturbator!!!

He's a web shooter. He shoots his web to get around, to stop bad guys, to make Christmas decorations...

You get the idea.

Color me impressed! Spiderman is the most public masturbator I have ever had the opportunity to be introduced to! PLUS, it combines my two faves...sex and comics! 

Ok, here's the deal...I was just tooling along, looking at some internet sites, and I saw this:

Others in the room immediately informed me of the, ahem, meaning behind the whole "web-slinging" phenomenon. And my world was changed forever. 

And they say comics have no relevant topics...

I FINALY am able to live up to my word!!!

Thanks to the Lazarus Group, a web design firm in Kansas City, I now am able to take anonymous questions and answer them!!! You have the option to add your e-mail (if you want me to get a hold of you for anything), but otherwise, it's all about your question!!!

YEAH!!!!!!

You can click on the link in the upper left corner, or just click HERE to start the ball a-rollin'!

I have some of the best friends!

So, I open my email this morning, and there's this e-mail from my editor. I click on what seems to be an innocuous furniture website, and boy howdy, was I surprised!

Now it's your turn!

Enjoy! I'm in Minneapolis for the weekend, and am ready to answer your questions. I plan on catching up ASAP!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Just shot of Culver's (which is packed) to prove that what ever you're doing tonight, it doesn't have to cost a ton of money.

Couples who have been together for decades are sitting quietly enjoying burgers and each others space. Culver's is the most romantic thing I've seen in years.

Love is free, kids...

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Dream, dream dream dreeeeeeeeam!!!

Q: Ok, I have a question. I am 24 years old and have had 3 girlfriends, and whenever I have sex or masturbate I can't have an orgasm unless I'm imagining that another guy is having sex with my girlfriend. The problem is I don't WANT to be turned on by the thought of another guy having sex with the girl I'm seeing.

I want to be turned on by the idea (and act) of ME having sex with her. I have scoured the internet looking for ways to change/treat a fetish, but haven't really been able to find substantive information. Which is what led me to you.

What specific techniques/actions should I undertake to bring myself to a place where I'm turned on when it's just the girl and me?

A: Boy oh boy! Are YOU lucky that I'm back on the relationship wagon! And now that I am, I've got the answer for you. Yup. Right here in this envelope. In my front pocket.

HOWEVER

Before I give the envelope to my lovely spokesmodel...I'm gonna jump out on a limb.

What exactly is the problem again??
I mean, I understand the basic premise. You have an attachment to a specific fantasy, and it helps you orgasm. And until the point you allow yourself to thing about your girlfriend (in the Yiddish) schtooping another man. and, I assume, you'd be making her feel lovely the entire time up until that point. So, let me ask you a series of question?

Why do you feel bad about this? Is it because you think that you are "supposed" to be turned on by your partner? Do you have ANY idea how many women use fantasy to achieve orgasm? And how little it's about their partner? And how they couldn't give a flying fig? That's right, I said it. Fig.

What I'm trying to say, is that for many, many people, fantasy play IS the way that they achieve orgasm. You are not alone. You are not weird. This is totally normal. You're just the cool one that spoke up.

If that's not an acceptable answer, if you're looking for an actual "cure" for your fantasy world, it's going to take some form of therapy. It's going to take you working on breaking the cycle of fantasizing about your partner with other people. Which means you're gonna have to tell her. You will have to involve your partner in this process. It can range from very basic conversations and monitoring the situations, to more invasive aversion therapy. I am NOT a huge fan of aversion therapy, but you can find out more information on it here.

In your original e-mail, you also mentioned some more information about some additional issues that you have surrounding this particular fantasy. You should know that this may evolve into a full-blown reality. AND there's nothing wrong with that. AND (since I have no idea where you live) there are many, many communities that can help you look into it in a safe and supportive community. You see, you are not the only one. Not even close.

Holy crap! I'm going to be on the radio!

In, like, 10 minutes!

AAAAAAAAAAA
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The sexual Cobra, you never know when it's going to strike!

So, on my last day at IASHS, we talked a LOT about seeing clients in a clinical setting.

Did I mention I finally am okay with this concept?

SO, we talked a lot about issues that arise with already married couples who were not completely honest with either themselves or their partners (or both) when they made the commitment to be partnered in some form or another.

We were talking about the fact that no matter how much you try and supress an urge, a desire, or a fantasy, it will come up again.

Me, be the comedian of the class (smart alek tendencies run in my family) decided that this VERY common state of being will now be known as the Sexual Cobra. Because you never know when it's going to strike. It's just chilling, waving in the air as you try to lull it to sleep and WHAM! You better know how to suck some venom fast!

The point is, that we should really work on being healthy sexual people just as hard as we work on our SAT scores. And probably harder. It sure sticks around a lot longer than those evil, evil tests. And no one cares about what school you did or didn't go to if you can't get it up (proverbialy) without being spanked and have no outlet for that in your life.

I don't care if you're a Mensa member. And neither does your Sex Cobra.

The major problem with sex cobras? They live as long as you do. They live in your house, they go on vacation with you. And your cobras can breed baby cobras in your kids, if you're not careful!
Ok, I'm taking the goofy analogy too far, but who here can't say that their parents attitudes about sexuality didn't imprint on them in some way? And if you're a breeder, as many of us are or will be, do you want your kids to get the same load of goodies that you got?

So what are you going to do with your sex cobra?? Cause you gotta train that thing into a sex earthworm ASAP. Perhaps telling your partner, HELL, telling YOURSELF about whatever it is is the first step.

Go ahead. You have permission. And I won't even say another word about the snake again.

Except that I trademarked and copyrighted that sucker!
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Big ass mountains and pioneers! (and sex, of course)

And before people served warm cookies on planes (yeah Midwest!), people used to cross that stuff. In wood wagons.

I have a confession. I am a weather sissy. Yup, that's right. Hi, my name is Elizabeth and I am a climate control freak. I was freezing in SF, I shudder at KC summers, the spring makes me sneeze. So, that means that for 25% of the year, I'm not obsessed with the weather and to how to control my immediate space. It also means that I am pretty much screwed wherever I live. I need a room to be cold and have LOTS of blankets for sleeping. I have frozen many a person out of my home. (roommates, of course!)

Body temperature and sex drive seemed to be linked in the American lexicon. That guy is "hot". So-and-so's wife is "frigid". (generally reserved for women) we describe people in words generally reserved for the 10 PM weatherperson.

Our blood pressure rising doesn't raise our body temperature THAT much. And when a woman doesn't want sex, it generally has nothing to do with a change in the weather. (seasonal affective disorder notwithstanding)

So why are temperature and sex drive so linked?

And does that mean I'm some sort of temperature dominatrix?
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San Francisco illegally snapped!

I have a Blackberry. But I turned my signal off, I swear!
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