Q: So elizabeth, just what CAN you make dildos out of???
A. Oh, christ. this is gonna be a long'un. In the interest of time (and in honor of Dr. Seuss' b-day) we will make this list as a rhyme.
Strap in kids:
Dildo, Dildo can I make?
Out of clay I want to bake?
Can I make my next toy?
For myself, my girl or boy?
Dildo dildo can I make? Can I make it out of cake?
No, no cake! Cake is wrong,
And would have you singing a sad, sad song!
Cake has sugar and lots of bread
And a yeast infection is on the road ahead!
In fact…
food is tasty food is good
But a dildo NEVER should
Include snacks for dinner, snacks for lunch…
Just about anything you might munch!
But homemade dildos can be fun,
Not just for you, but everyone!
Dildos made of smooth, smooth stone,
Will make you happy
(maybe moan)
dildos can be made of wood,
beware of splinters!
That ain’t good!
But as long as wood is sealed,
That smooth surface might make you reel!
Dildos can be made of warm and fuzzy things
Just be careful of loose strings
and tie up any loose ends
losing stuff in an orifice is not your friend.
So have some fun! Be creative!
Just try to follow this advice
Be prudent, bacteria free
And imagine what feels nice!
