Saturday, June 30, 2007

While watching SICKO this afternoon...

i struk up a wonderful conversation with a couple who also aw the movie. We've decided that there needs to be another term for people with varied sexual interests.

Because fetishists are defined as people who effectually can't get no satisfaction without whatever it is that gets their rocks off.
(I can't come up with another song title to fit in that sentence)

And "sexual deviations" implies that they aredifferent than the norm. And that assumes a standard we all conform to. Which is a load of crapola.

SO, I am looking for a way to describe a multitude of sexual interests without grouping them into fetish-land, and not making people feel outside the so-called norm.

Any suggestions???

P.S. SICKO is probably the most disturbing piece of filmmaking I have seen in a while. Yes, it's regular Michael Moore posturing, but it makes you want to move to Cuba.

Friday, June 29, 2007

Armpit Syphilis...

Guess who is having dinner with an STD expert tonight??

Yup, that's me.

And it turns out in New York City, in immigrant families virginity is so highly prized, that girl's boyfriends are not penetrating them at all.

Kudos to them!


They are having sex with their armpits.
Now there's a huge rise in armpit syphilis.
Don't look here until you digest your din-din.
Have a lovely Friday night!

Thursday, June 28, 2007

The Latest and Greatest, June 2007

At the end of every month, I add the latest and greatest innovations I have come across in the world of sex. here's June 2007's top 5:

1. Discarded foreskins are being used to treat burn victims. Oh, and in face cream.

2. The CONE is one of the first products I will stock at WINK when we open in September. Count down the days and save your pennies!!!

3. American Stag, the local film with a little titillation. Always a good time.

4. The third date rule. An article sent to me by a lovely reader of this here blog.

5. Going into Pricilla's and overhearing a conversation between the counterboy and a male customer about a universal lubricant for his pleasure. "you know, so the condom doesn't break and the b**ch don't get pregnant." Priceless!!!

A point of clarification...

Q: Where does one find such a (female) friend? (Follow up to friends with benefits)

A: I assume you are adult enough to find someone on your own.


A: I am NOT a dating service.
A: I am NOT a sex fiend using this to find a date.
A: I am not gonna answer personal questions, or post comments like this ever again.
A: This is about creating a SAFE space for people to ask questions.
A: I am NOT about censoring this blog, or taking away it's anonymity. BUT if pushed, if I don't feel safe, i will hunt you down with your IP address and turn you over to my burly friend Guido. Or just the police.

Are we clear now??

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Is There a Benefit to "Friends With Benefits"???

Q: It is now tuesday. What are your thoughts on "friends with benefits" relationships?

A: I have no idea what you are talking about.


If I was, perhaps, acquainted with this concept (say from 1996-1999), I would say besides all the possible emotional landmines, STD chances, pregnancy scares, and emotional landmines (yes, I said it twice), it can be really fun. And I am all about consenting adults having fun.


Humans are chemically built for a certain amount of pair bonding. It is REALLY, REALLY hard to not ultimately get emotional with persons you are doin' the horizontal mambo with. And the vertical mambo, if they know what they are doing. When a human has an orgasm, the chemicals released from the brain shoot from your Hypothalamous to your genitals at a rate of 250 MILES AN HOUR. It releases:
Phenylethylamine (PEA)

Also known as:
Prescription painkillers
Smelly socks

So, if you think you can fight the innate chemistry of your body as can your friend, I say go for it. Otherwise, stay home, watch TV while shooting heroin on painkillers and wearing smelly socks. Follow with a chocolate chaser and a dash of antidepressants, and you've hit the Trifecta.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

The Big O is coming!!!

I am currently researching a question like a fiend, but while I take the time over the weekend to finish that up

take a look at THIS.

And then spend your weekend looking at your fingers and the whorl in your hair.

See everyone on Monday!!!

Monday, June 18, 2007

How Could I have forgotten???

Q: What about agnostics?

A: I'm not sure whether or not an agnostic would come after me.


A significant portion of the agnostic and atheist population may not be sure of the existence of God, but I'm sure they would love to scream "OH GOD!!!!" at the top of their lungs.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Just to clear the air...

Q: Aren't you afraid that some Christian/Jewish/Muslim/right-wing/left-wing/evangelist/environmentalist/satanic stalker will hunt you down because of what you write?

A: No.

Even Christian/Jewish/Muslim/right-wing/left-wing/evangelist/environmentalist/satanic stalkers need an orgasm.

Just look here.
Or here
Did I mention here?
And we can't for get about this!

'nuff said!

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Not-so-happy tingles....

I was at a lovely little party earlier this evening, and I was posed the following question...

Q: When my boyfriend fingers me, my limbs feel like they're sleeping! Not what I'm looking for. What's the deal??

A: Ummmmmm, loosen the harness??
Real A: There could be a couple culprits involved in this interesting issue. take heart! You are not alone! could be the blood drainage and swelling of the labia and clitoris during arousal. Could be the birth control you're on (though that would be a regular problem, not just during fingering). most likely, you need to just loosen up.


When you're doing something that feels good, you start to build to orgasm. As you build, you tense. When you masturbate, you're able to get to orgasm faster. If there's a lover involved, it can take a while. You tense, and hold. All that muscle tension makes blood circulation a little harder. So whatever you tense, looses blood. Lips, arms, legs, hiney. they can all be affected. So breathe, relax, and enjoy!

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Lola, La la la la....Muxes?

the transgender community is getting a lot of good press these days.

And by good press, I mean press at all. Normally this cross section of our world is the final frontier of real fear and loathing.

Reality TV welcomed Alexis Arquette on both The Surreal Life and as a gues judge on Top Design
Characters depicting Transgender issues are on several shows, including both prime time and soap operas.
Trangender issues made the cover of Newsweek.

And it's about time!!!!!!!!

What prompted my trans-tirade? Well, I was at the (*gasp*) gym when I picked up the cultural equivelant of cheese doodles, Marie Claire magazine. And after flipping past hundreds of pages of the *latest* makeup and accesories, I found this article. An article on Muxes.

And if this doesn't prove that other countries are way, way ahead of the US in gender identity, I don't know what else will.

So what are Muxes? And why was I first hearing about them in Marie Claire?
Muxes are males, or humans born with male genitalia that fall into what the Zapotec culture considers a *****Third Gender****.

Applause all around!

Muxes can be dressed in men's clothes and wear makeup. they can dress as females. they can marry women and have children, or they can take male lovers.

They are an increadible family member to have, because they are trained in the arts, and can bring wealth and status to a family.

A far cry from our twisted little American politics, eh?

Wikipedia has a pretty good article on Muxes here.

I think for once, we need to take some cues from another culture.

Who am I kidding, we need to take a lot of cues from elsewhere.