All good hospital vacations must come to an end!

remember kids,

Colds are sometimes colds.

Colds are sometimes flus.

Flu's may end you up in the hospital on fluids if you're not careful. 

Don't ever underestimate the power of a common cold. 

Back to work tomorrow afternoon! 

Spring break be gone!

That's right folks!

Shawnee Mission Schools Spring Break is over, which means my family hat comes off, and back to the sex salt mines i go! Which means

• Back to that daily blogging
• New store hours (call before you come, so we can help you come!)
• My schoolwork resumes (Yeeeeehaw!)
• And I finally can get to that backlog of questions that has been piling up in my account!!!

SO, I will see everyone here, for the daily fun starting....

wait for it....

NOW!

Thanks for ALL the support. I am overwhelmed at how warmly and widely received I have been throughout the metro.

You all rock!

Elizabeth on Mark Manning's Mid-day Medley TODAY!!

10:30 am

Fertility Rites and Spring!

Eliot Spitzer and paying for it!

All this and much much more on 90.1, KKFI TODAY at 10:30!

What do YOU want to do to the Irish??

Q: In honor of St. Patrick's day... What's the origin of the whole "Kiss me I'm Irish" thing?

A: It's a pretty simple answer, really.

This is the Blarney Stone:

If you kiss it, it's supposed to bring you luck. And if you can't get to the blarney stone, an Irish person is supposedly the next best thing

this is a (my imaginary) person that works at Blarney castle:

Supposedly, they pee on the stone before the tourists arrive as a joke.

this is urolagnia:

It's when people like to pee, or be peed on, or consume pee for non-medical reasons. And yes, there are people who like to drink pee for theraputic purposes.

Now, of course how you celebrate today is up to YOU, but always remember sometimes an Irish person is just an Irish person. And sometimes a stone covered in pee is a fetishists dream come true.

HAPPY St. PATRICK'S DAY!!!

Questions, questions...YOU have the questions!!!

Wow. In the past 24 hours I have recieved dozens of questions. And I will get to work on them this afternoon.

Don't worry, answers are a-comin'!

Welcome, Kansas City Star Readers!!!

Hello one and all!

Welcome to my weblog.

in the upper left-hand corner, you'll notice a place where you can ask many a question anonymously.

And here is where I will answer them publicly.

Don't worry, you're safe here.

It's what I do.

And if you want more, I'll be on KKFI 90.1 this Wednesday at 10:30 with Mark Manning to discuss sex and spring. You can find my whole schedule on the Wink calendar.

Never be afraid to ask.

Can I get a merit badge in Dildo creation??

Q: So elizabeth, just what CAN you make dildos out of???

A. Oh, christ. this is gonna be a long'un. In the interest of time (and in honor of Dr. Seuss' b-day) we will make this list as a rhyme.

Strap in kids:

Dildo, Dildo can I make?
Out of clay I want to bake?
Can I make my next toy?
For myself, my girl or boy?

Dildo dildo can I make? Can I make it out of cake?
No, no cake! Cake is wrong,
And would have you singing a sad, sad song!
Cake has sugar and lots of bread
And a yeast infection is on the road ahead!

In fact…

food is tasty food is good
But a dildo NEVER should
Include snacks for dinner, snacks for lunch…
Just about anything you might munch!

But homemade dildos can be fun,
Not just for you, but everyone!
Dildos made of smooth, smooth stone,
Will make you happy
(maybe moan)

dildos can be made of wood,
beware of splinters!
That ain’t good!
But as long as wood is sealed,
That smooth surface might make you reel!

Dildos can be made of warm and fuzzy things
Just be careful of loose strings
and tie up any loose ends
losing stuff in an orifice is not your friend.

So have some fun! Be creative!
Just try to follow this advice
Be prudent, bacteria free
And imagine what feels nice!

Ever get a giggle fit?

This was my latest.

Text: Irish you happy holidays

Guess you had to be there.

I am still out here and researching my buns off! My next question was a doozy about harnesses!

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I swear Mom! I was just reading the paper!!

So, it turns out my mom reads this blog.

Everyone say hi!

Oh, and she also got me a subscription to the Sunday New York Times. I have a minor addiction to 6.50 papers where the crossword takes me a week to figure out. I suppose it's better than crack...

And here I was, just reading through the New York Times Magazine from a few weeks ago(I'm a little behind), and what do I see????
An article on poly-lifestyles

Ok, not a whole article, but there it was, in the freaking New York Times Sunday Magazine, the one with little kids jumping up and down on the cover.

A little tidbit about the current president of France, Nicolas Sarkozy,




his super-hot wife Carla Bruni,




and her little comment about monagamy, polyandry, poligamy, and polygny. They forgot polyamory, but we'll forgive them.

Let's define some terms...




Monagamy= 1 person committed to another person, regardless of gender




Polygamy= A man OR woman who marries more than one man or woman (depending on the country...)











Polyandry= the one up above
(One woman, many men)





Polygyny= the one over there (one man,
many women)




Polyamory=Means many loves. You love more than one person, or your group consists of many people in love.

And all this can be learned in the NYT on a Sunday between 29 across and 3 down!

Explain to me this.....

Bad grammer is my speciality....

Why are ALL books in the sex area got pink? Last time *I* checked, my clit wasn't magenta....

Just sayin.....
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SEE??!! It's NOT the length that counts!!

Short Sex is best, researchers say...

in Australia.

Read all about it here!

At the store with no internet access!!

ARGH! Back to remote blogging for today. I am gonna keep this short and sweet for now, and when I get to a place with internet access, I will hotlink these words.

This weekend will be a little insane, plus I'm researching the MOST interesting question for later this weekend. So until I can get away and back to the land of the connected, here's what I've got:



KC magazine is having their big "best of" nominations, and WINK's decided to run in the best boutique category! I think it would make quite the statement to even get the nomination, and show Kansas City for the awesomely sex-positive place it is!



WINK gets nothing except a plaque on the wall, and our undying appreciation!



You can vote HERE.

2. I've confirmed 4 more dates on Mark Manning's amazing radio show! (I will hotlink when I get home) Make sure to listen for the following shows,

March 19-spring is in the air! Sex and spring(you can call in!)



April 2-songs that changed my life. A collaborative project, and I am one of many who will contribut MY song and the story behind it.



April 5- KKFI funddrive! I'll be on there talking about money, sex and power!



AND



Drumroll please....



May 3-WINK and Mark Manning Present:The Tenth Voice- Not Afraid to Ask, the radio show! So save you're hardest questions to call in may 3rd!



So, I hope you all are out enjoying the weather, and if not, drop on by and see Katie and me @ Wink today till 9!





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