Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Nookie not happenin? Stop stressing!!

Q: A friend of a friend of my neighbor's third cousin has a best friend that he rarely sees cuz he's a lame shut in who works too much.
Now he's afraid that she's gonna move to Minneapolis. What should I do? I mean him... what should he do?

A: Well, not being a relationship expert and all, I would have to say you're screwed. She's forgotten all about you and thinks Minneapolis ROCKS. But as far as i know, she has no intention of moving any time in the near future, so....

As a sexologist, I would have to dissect how all this wondering is affecting your sex life.

when you're stressed, several things happen to your body, and a LOT of them can affect your libido. That's right, all that stress can rid you of the warm fuzzies in your pants.

may I introduce you to our little friend, Cortisol.

Cortisol is a very important hormone made by your adrenal gland.
It helps you wake up in the morning.
It helps your blood move through the vessels.
It lowers your pain threshold
It tells you to get far, far away from the man in the mask with the chainsaw running at you RIGHT NOW!!!

Just Kidding.

BUT, if you're stressed for a long time, Cortisol can do a lot of craptacular things too.

It can keep you up at night.
It can make your bones weaker.
Catching a cold never seemed easier.
And that spare tire you're sportin' these days? that's no coincidence, babe.

SO, instead of stressing about your friend who is NOT moving to Minneapolis this week, this month, or this year, think about the beating your sex life is taking. Because being a fat, sick, tired, broken-boned fellow is seriously going to cut into your nookie time.

'Nuff said.