Can I get a merit badge in Dildo creation??

Q: So elizabeth, just what CAN you make dildos out of???

A. Oh, christ. this is gonna be a long'un. In the interest of time (and in honor of Dr. Seuss' b-day) we will make this list as a rhyme.

Strap in kids:

Dildo, Dildo can I make?
Out of clay I want to bake?
Can I make my next toy?
For myself, my girl or boy?

Dildo dildo can I make? Can I make it out of cake?
No, no cake! Cake is wrong,
And would have you singing a sad, sad song!
Cake has sugar and lots of bread
And a yeast infection is on the road ahead!

In fact…

food is tasty food is good
But a dildo NEVER should
Include snacks for dinner, snacks for lunch…
Just about anything you might munch!

But homemade dildos can be fun,
Not just for you, but everyone!
Dildos made of smooth, smooth stone,
Will make you happy
(maybe moan)

dildos can be made of wood,
beware of splinters!
That ain’t good!
But as long as wood is sealed,
That smooth surface might make you reel!

Dildos can be made of warm and fuzzy things
Just be careful of loose strings
and tie up any loose ends
losing stuff in an orifice is not your friend.

So have some fun! Be creative!
Just try to follow this advice
Be prudent, bacteria free
And imagine what feels nice!

Ever get a giggle fit?

This was my latest.

Text: Irish you happy holidays

Guess you had to be there.

I am still out here and researching my buns off! My next question was a doozy about harnesses!

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I swear Mom! I was just reading the paper!!

So, it turns out my mom reads this blog.

Everyone say hi!

Oh, and she also got me a subscription to the Sunday New York Times. I have a minor addiction to 6.50 papers where the crossword takes me a week to figure out. I suppose it's better than crack...

And here I was, just reading through the New York Times Magazine from a few weeks ago(I'm a little behind), and what do I see????
An article on poly-lifestyles

Ok, not a whole article, but there it was, in the freaking New York Times Sunday Magazine, the one with little kids jumping up and down on the cover.

A little tidbit about the current president of France, Nicolas Sarkozy,




his super-hot wife Carla Bruni,




and her little comment about monagamy, polyandry, poligamy, and polygny. They forgot polyamory, but we'll forgive them.

Let's define some terms...




Monagamy= 1 person committed to another person, regardless of gender




Polygamy= A man OR woman who marries more than one man or woman (depending on the country...)











Polyandry= the one up above
(One woman, many men)





Polygyny= the one over there (one man,
many women)




Polyamory=Means many loves. You love more than one person, or your group consists of many people in love.

And all this can be learned in the NYT on a Sunday between 29 across and 3 down!

Explain to me this.....

Bad grammer is my speciality....

Why are ALL books in the sex area got pink? Last time *I* checked, my clit wasn't magenta....

Just sayin.....
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SEE??!! It's NOT the length that counts!!

Short Sex is best, researchers say...

in Australia.

Read all about it here!

At the store with no internet access!!

ARGH! Back to remote blogging for today. I am gonna keep this short and sweet for now, and when I get to a place with internet access, I will hotlink these words.

This weekend will be a little insane, plus I'm researching the MOST interesting question for later this weekend. So until I can get away and back to the land of the connected, here's what I've got:



KC magazine is having their big "best of" nominations, and WINK's decided to run in the best boutique category! I think it would make quite the statement to even get the nomination, and show Kansas City for the awesomely sex-positive place it is!



WINK gets nothing except a plaque on the wall, and our undying appreciation!



You can vote HERE.

2. I've confirmed 4 more dates on Mark Manning's amazing radio show! (I will hotlink when I get home) Make sure to listen for the following shows,

March 19-spring is in the air! Sex and spring(you can call in!)



April 2-songs that changed my life. A collaborative project, and I am one of many who will contribut MY song and the story behind it.



April 5- KKFI funddrive! I'll be on there talking about money, sex and power!



AND



Drumroll please....



May 3-WINK and Mark Manning Present:The Tenth Voice- Not Afraid to Ask, the radio show! So save you're hardest questions to call in may 3rd!



So, I hope you all are out enjoying the weather, and if not, drop on by and see Katie and me @ Wink today till 9!





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A vibrating cock-a-doodle DON'T!

You know them. i know you love them, because I can't keep them in stock. Our friend the vibrating cock ring is a big hit in the KC Metro Area.

Now, you can go to any drugstore and grab a vibrating cock ring. Trojan makes the Elexa, a very discreet ring that hangs with the condoms.

Doesn't make a whole crap ton of sense that I would tell you that, right?

Well, There's a lovely little article as to why the Trojan Elexa isn't worth the 12.00 price tag it's attached to, and why the Magic Ring (above) IS.

Trojan and their 20 minute sex window? Not thinking much about their clientele's, ahem, longevity in the bedroom.

But don't take my word for it. See whta the writer from the NY Observer has to say...

Hotlinking just ain't what it used to be...

**********If Brevity is the source of Wit, Humility is the source of Blogs...*******************

So,

Post posting the poly-happy post below, I recieved a comment from a really lovely fellow informing me that I am "hotlinking" to his website with my images.

Hotlinking, aka, using up his bandwidth.

Bandwidth, aks, the stuff that makes everything run smoothly.

Now, as a sexologist, I may be able to decipher hotlinking, but I think i'd be wrong.

So I called the fellow who posted the comment and prostrated myself.

In exchange for having a total stranger call him out of the blue (proving once again that the internet haas entirely too much information available) he told me how to not hotlink anymore.

Thank you fellows at Portigal Consulting.

I hope you don't mind that I linked now.

And Steve, I owe you a cup of coffee when I get back to SF in June.

Roo-rific!!!

Thank you SO much residents of Oak Hall at UMKC!!!! Sex night at the Residential Hall was WAY TOO MUCH FUN!!!

I went over to UMKC to talk about sex toys and sexual pleasure as part of the monthly Sex Talk series! And boy, that room was packed! We had a blast. First, the resident health educator talked about the services available at UMKC, and then they turned the floor over to me.



I was still attaching these to a table:





But then it was my turn to talk. And boy, those UMKC students kept me on my toes! We talked about vibrators, sex, anal play, lube, polyamory, kegel exercises, monagamy, BDSM, and just about everything under the sun!

And then they gave me a sweatshirt!

I'm gonna wear it all week at the store. I am that proud of being a Roo!

Monaga-maybe???

Q: I'm a woman in my early twenties, and have had two serious, long term relationships (don't worry, this is actually a sex question). About a year into each of these relationships, I found my sex drive drastically declining (no, neither time did I go on or off any medication). Sex morphed into an obligation, rather than a loving or fun act. I also found myself, both times, itching for sex outside of the relationship, though I never pursued it. Is this a common occurrence in women, or am I such a closeted swinger that I didn't even know it myself?

A: Ah, sex and relationships. the bread and butter of the Sexology industry. Don't worry, ma'am, I'm here to help on both fronts.

Sex in relationships is a lot like sex outside of relationships. It's really hot for a while, you can't get enough of the other person, and then WHAM you see her pick her nose, or you see the skid marks on his shorts, and the veneer is...less shiny.

What you are experiences is the very normal experience of seeing the skid marks. the drive declines when we start tp see the other person as an, um, PERSON, instead of the oh-my-god!-he's-amazing-and-sooooo-funny-and-what-an-amazing-lay-and-I-can't-wait-to-have-his-babies-! - person.

Not to say that you're doing that, but the very natural drop off in chemicals that you are experiencing can happen anywhere from 6 months to 18 months. Then things will hit a groove, and the person starts to look attractive again for a couple of years, and then around the 3-5 year mark, BAM, there it goes again.

Human sex drive is a pesky thing. It comes and goes for no reason. And if we have other issues that have plagued us (not that you said you did) such as intimacy, trust, or baggage from previous relationships, it can seen like it never ends.

What;s AWESOME about your e-mail is that you see a pattern. Seeing a pattern means you can break a pattern. You can anticipate a pattern. You know that (like many humans) you have a point where the sex drive becomes more of a sex neutral. And that at that point, a new car looks interesting. You also know that chemical rush you get at the beginning does go in ANY relationship. And it would with any car you got behind the wheel of.

HOWEVER, you may also be a lovely breed of human known as non-monogamous. Lots of different labels that essentially mean is that whole you don't fit into the classic monogamous mold that has been shoved down our throats our entire lives. And there are a TON of people that fall into those categories as well. Look up being in the lifestyle for more information.

All in all, don't worry about these issues. the ebb and flow of desire is normal. It's a regular thing even for die-hard monogamists. Which you might not be.