Can I get a merit badge in Dildo creation??

Q: So elizabeth, just what CAN you make dildos out of???

A. Oh, christ. this is gonna be a long'un. In the interest of time (and in honor of Dr. Seuss' b-day) we will make this list as a rhyme.

Strap in kids:

Dildo, Dildo can I make?
Out of clay I want to bake?
Can I make my next toy?
For myself, my girl or boy?

Dildo dildo can I make? Can I make it out of cake?
No, no cake! Cake is wrong,
And would have you singing a sad, sad song!
Cake has sugar and lots of bread
And a yeast infection is on the road ahead!

In fact…

food is tasty food is good
But a dildo NEVER should
Include snacks for dinner, snacks for lunch…
Just about anything you might munch!

But homemade dildos can be fun,
Not just for you, but everyone!
Dildos made of smooth, smooth stone,
Will make you happy
(maybe moan)

dildos can be made of wood,
beware of splinters!
That ain’t good!
But as long as wood is sealed,
That smooth surface might make you reel!

Dildos can be made of warm and fuzzy things
Just be careful of loose strings
and tie up any loose ends
losing stuff in an orifice is not your friend.

So have some fun! Be creative!
Just try to follow this advice
Be prudent, bacteria free
And imagine what feels nice!

Roo-rific!!!

Thank you SO much residents of Oak Hall at UMKC!!!! Sex night at the Residential Hall was WAY TOO MUCH FUN!!!

I went over to UMKC to talk about sex toys and sexual pleasure as part of the monthly Sex Talk series! And boy, that room was packed! We had a blast. First, the resident health educator talked about the services available at UMKC, and then they turned the floor over to me.



I was still attaching these to a table:





But then it was my turn to talk. And boy, those UMKC students kept me on my toes! We talked about vibrators, sex, anal play, lube, polyamory, kegel exercises, monagamy, BDSM, and just about everything under the sun!

And then they gave me a sweatshirt!

I'm gonna wear it all week at the store. I am that proud of being a Roo!

In which I learn to use my computer...

So, I have finally loaded my radio interview on my website. You can listen to it here!

Oh, and they invited me back on for March, and you can all call in with questions or criticisms. I promise not to bite.

Yeah, that joke's too easy. I'm leaving it alone. ALONE, I say!

Sex Education Political a Go-Go!!

Q: Dear Ms. Sexologist! I am voting in my first election, and I am trying to decide how important it is to look at the candidates recored in relation to sex ed. What do you think? Oh, and I live in Missouri, if that makes a difference...

A: Well, Mr./Ms. Anonymous, though I have a strict "no relationship" rule, I CAN let you know in a totally non-objective way where the major candidates stand on issues of sex ed. And while I know that abortion is also an important subject, we're gonna keep it simple
Here we go!:

Sex Ed by Presidential Candidate:

Sen. Hilary Clinton (D): Strongly supports sex education. Voted to expand age-appropriate sex ed that is medically accurate. (Bill S.Amdt. 244 to S Con Res 18 ; vote number 2005-75 on Mar 17, 2005 ) Believes that sex ed should not be abstienence-only.

Sen. John Edwards (D): Strongly supports comprehensive age-appropriate sex ed that would cover both abstienence as well as other forms of birth control. Believes that science-based birth control methods should be taught.

Rudy Giuliani(R): the most evasive of the candidates. When mayor of NYC, supports comprehensive sex ed. and condoms in schools. since make a presidential bid, has not spoken on the issue. Also believes that abstienence should be taught in schools, but has not gon so f

ar as to state abstinence-only education is the way to go.

Sen. Mike Huckabee (R): Strongly opposes sex ed in schools. Opposes condoms in schools. Believes abstinence-only education. Believes that no sex ed should be in schools, rather the

 parents should be teaching their kids abstinence-only. (note: I know I said i wouldn't do thi

s, but Huckabee refused to let the state help a 15 year old girl who was raped by her stepfather. He cited the bible as reference.)

Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D): Strong advocate of sex ed in schools.

Believes we need to reinstate more HIV/AIDS education in schools. Opposes abstinence-only education. Co-sponsor of the REAL (Responsible Education About Life Act), which promotes sex ed in schools, and also discusses abstinence as a birth control option.

Sen. John McCain (R): Strongly opposed to comprehensive sex

 education. voted against bill that would expand medically accurate sex education (Bill S.Amdt. 244 to S Con Res 18 ; vote number 2005-75 on Ma

r 17, 2005 ) Voted for bill to provide funding for abstinence-only education. Bill S 1956 ; vote number 1996-231 on Jul 23, 1996

Sen. Barak Obama: Strongly supports sex education. Voted to expand age-appropriate sex ed that is medically accurate. (Bill S.Amdt. 244 to S Con Res 18 ; vote number 2005-75 on Mar 17, 2005 ) Believes that sex ed should not be abstinence-only. Took flack in 2007 for saying that age-appropriate sex education should begin as early as kindergarten.

      Gov. Mitt Romney(R): . 

Supports sex education.Believes that sex education should be age-appropriate, factual, and medically accurate. Also supports abstinence-only education. As governor, his state recieved funding towards an abstinence-only campaign.

So that's our sex education roundup. Interested to know about our two lovely sides of the state line? check out my latest article in Present Magazine, due out this Friday!

This is what I do what I do...

The latest statistics:

The United States has TWICE the teen pregnancy rate of ANY industrialized nation in the WORLD!!!!

The STD rate is climbing across the board in the U.S. The populations with the fastest rate of increase? 12-19 year olds AND 60 and over!!!

This country is definitly in need of some serious sex education!! What we are doing is NOT WORKING!!