I swear Mom! I was just reading the paper!!

So, it turns out my mom reads this blog.

Everyone say hi!

Oh, and she also got me a subscription to the Sunday New York Times. I have a minor addiction to 6.50 papers where the crossword takes me a week to figure out. I suppose it's better than crack...

And here I was, just reading through the New York Times Magazine from a few weeks ago(I'm a little behind), and what do I see????
An article on poly-lifestyles

Ok, not a whole article, but there it was, in the freaking New York Times Sunday Magazine, the one with little kids jumping up and down on the cover.

A little tidbit about the current president of France, Nicolas Sarkozy,




his super-hot wife Carla Bruni,




and her little comment about monagamy, polyandry, poligamy, and polygny. They forgot polyamory, but we'll forgive them.

Let's define some terms...




Monagamy= 1 person committed to another person, regardless of gender




Polygamy= A man OR woman who marries more than one man or woman (depending on the country...)











Polyandry= the one up above
(One woman, many men)





Polygyny= the one over there (one man,
many women)




Polyamory=Means many loves. You love more than one person, or your group consists of many people in love.

And all this can be learned in the NYT on a Sunday between 29 across and 3 down!

SEE??!! It's NOT the length that counts!!

Short Sex is best, researchers say...

in Australia.

Read all about it here!

Full moon fever???

Ok, I had this great idea about how I would do an article about all the lunar eclipse/sex stuff out there. How the eclipse make people RAAAAAAAAAANDY, baby! How they're doin' it left and right, up and down.

What did I find?

That I was thinking about the full moon, not a lunar eclipse...

Duh, Elizabeth, duh.

Turns out, that MOST cultures view the lunar eclipse as a bad, BAD omen.

Bad nooky mojo.

In India, couples won't touch each other during an eclipse. It's considered such bad luck that they stay in seperate rooms.

Now, if they'd just jump a qick flight and head to Tahiti, they could get it on.

In Tahitian culture, an lunar eclipse is considered sun/moon nooky, and therefore good luck.

And that's all I've got on the subject.

WAIT

There's a little more.

Not in the mood tonight? Repeat after me.

"Not tonight, honey. I have a lunar eclipse"

Use it now, kids. You can't use that again till 2010...

Sex Education Political a Go-Go!!

Q: Dear Ms. Sexologist! I am voting in my first election, and I am trying to decide how important it is to look at the candidates recored in relation to sex ed. What do you think? Oh, and I live in Missouri, if that makes a difference...

A: Well, Mr./Ms. Anonymous, though I have a strict "no relationship" rule, I CAN let you know in a totally non-objective way where the major candidates stand on issues of sex ed. And while I know that abortion is also an important subject, we're gonna keep it simple
Here we go!:

Sex Ed by Presidential Candidate:

Sen. Hilary Clinton (D): Strongly supports sex education. Voted to expand age-appropriate sex ed that is medically accurate. (Bill S.Amdt. 244 to S Con Res 18 ; vote number 2005-75 on Mar 17, 2005 ) Believes that sex ed should not be abstienence-only.

Sen. John Edwards (D): Strongly supports comprehensive age-appropriate sex ed that would cover both abstienence as well as other forms of birth control. Believes that science-based birth control methods should be taught.

Rudy Giuliani(R): the most evasive of the candidates. When mayor of NYC, supports comprehensive sex ed. and condoms in schools. since make a presidential bid, has not spoken on the issue. Also believes that abstienence should be taught in schools, but has not gon so f

ar as to state abstinence-only education is the way to go.

Sen. Mike Huckabee (R): Strongly opposes sex ed in schools. Opposes condoms in schools. Believes abstinence-only education. Believes that no sex ed should be in schools, rather the

 parents should be teaching their kids abstinence-only. (note: I know I said i wouldn't do thi

s, but Huckabee refused to let the state help a 15 year old girl who was raped by her stepfather. He cited the bible as reference.)

Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D): Strong advocate of sex ed in schools.

Believes we need to reinstate more HIV/AIDS education in schools. Opposes abstinence-only education. Co-sponsor of the REAL (Responsible Education About Life Act), which promotes sex ed in schools, and also discusses abstinence as a birth control option.

Sen. John McCain (R): Strongly opposed to comprehensive sex

 education. voted against bill that would expand medically accurate sex education (Bill S.Amdt. 244 to S Con Res 18 ; vote number 2005-75 on Ma

r 17, 2005 ) Voted for bill to provide funding for abstinence-only education. Bill S 1956 ; vote number 1996-231 on Jul 23, 1996

Sen. Barak Obama: Strongly supports sex education. Voted to expand age-appropriate sex ed that is medically accurate. (Bill S.Amdt. 244 to S Con Res 18 ; vote number 2005-75 on Mar 17, 2005 ) Believes that sex ed should not be abstinence-only. Took flack in 2007 for saying that age-appropriate sex education should begin as early as kindergarten.

      Gov. Mitt Romney(R): . 

Supports sex education.Believes that sex education should be age-appropriate, factual, and medically accurate. Also supports abstinence-only education. As governor, his state recieved funding towards an abstinence-only campaign.

So that's our sex education roundup. Interested to know about our two lovely sides of the state line? check out my latest article in Present Magazine, due out this Friday!

Dying of the plague...

Once again, I find myself sick. Just your run-0f-the-mill snot monster in my head.

HOWEVER

Did you know that sex boosts your immune system? AND can help with headaches??

Keep in mind, researchers are talking about full, healthy sexual relationships. this would include (at least in researchers minds) orgasms. That extra rush of blood, a good dose of sweat, and an orgasm could mobilize the immune system.

Like our own little sex G.I. Joe's!

BUT

Another study found that TOO much sex could weaken the immune system. It could also be symptomatic of an obsessive relationship.

That's other researchers, not me.

So let's wrap it up for today:

Sex: Good for colds and headaches
Orgasm: Like our own little Gen. George Casey (look it up, folks)
Too much sex: A figment of scientists imaginations. Or lucky people who need a vitamin supplement to boost their oversexed bodies.

So, as a good researcher, the question I must ask myself, is....

Am I having too much sex, or not enough??

It's my own little exi-sexu-al crisis!

All hail the vagina puppet!!!

Read All About It!!

Someone has lost their mind enough to let me write for them.

like a column. In a paper.

Present Magazine has asked me to write a column about all things sexual and Kansas City. i have written 4 already, some KC, some not. But it allows me to make this blog question specific again, and my rants to go elsewhere.

SO, if there's something is KC that I need to address, something sexual, something that YOU want covered, let me know.

Don't every be afraid to ask.

I have been a bad, bad girl...

And i'm sure that I have the product to punish me in the store...

I have been neglecting my blog!

But for a good reason folks! WINK is now open, and I am busier than I expected. But keep your questions coming! I know I am WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY behind, but don't stop! I will be back and in full force. I promise.

Or I will dispatch myself with the closest flogger to me.

Until then, you can find me in WINK 6 days a week.

See all of you soon!

Wi(t)ch hunt shall we go on now?

I had a happy little question about rimming, but then someone was kind enough to send me this link to what is happening just over the state line from where I am.

It's really, really scary.

I'm still trying to find information on this subject, but here's the jist.

1. The National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families has set up shop in my area and has opened a grand jury.

2. The grand jury has been formed to decide what is obscene and what isn't in Jackson, Johnson, and Wyandotte county.

3. They have signed a petition against 32 strip clubs, porn stores, and video stores in the Kansas City metro area.

Now here's my question...

Who are they and what jurisdiction to they have?

On what ground to they get to legislate morality?

And when did witch hunts come back in fashion?!

I respect everyone's right to believe whatever they want, but how do we allow anyone to decide what's moral and what's not? And with morality being a relative idea, why do we decide dildos and porn are wrong in the USA in the 21st century, but not at the turn of the 20th? Or in Europe right now?

I just don't get it.

Back to analingus tomorrow!!!