Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Is There a Benefit to "Friends With Benefits"???

Q: It is now tuesday. What are your thoughts on "friends with benefits" relationships?

A: I have no idea what you are talking about.

BUT

If I was, perhaps, acquainted with this concept (say from 1996-1999), I would say besides all the possible emotional landmines, STD chances, pregnancy scares, and emotional landmines (yes, I said it twice), it can be really fun. And I am all about consenting adults having fun.

HOWEVER

Humans are chemically built for a certain amount of pair bonding. It is REALLY, REALLY hard to not ultimately get emotional with persons you are doin' the horizontal mambo with. And the vertical mambo, if they know what they are doing. When a human has an orgasm, the chemicals released from the brain shoot from your Hypothalamous to your genitals at a rate of 250 MILES AN HOUR. It releases:
Oxytocin
Dopamine
Phenylethylamine (PEA)
Pheramones
Seratonin

Also known as:
Prescription painkillers
Heroin
Chocolate
Smelly socks
Prozac

So, if you think you can fight the innate chemistry of your body as can your friend, I say go for it. Otherwise, stay home, watch TV while shooting heroin on painkillers and wearing smelly socks. Follow with a chocolate chaser and a dash of antidepressants, and you've hit the Trifecta.